Early Christmas Morning (12:35 a.m.)

I know, I have a lot to blog about the weeks before; the road trip and all, a doozie! I have been sick for about 2 weeks now, I guess the flu.
But, here I find myself listening to Pandora, and playing games on the computer, drinking a glass or 2 or 3 of wine, while DH and The Teacher snooze. As soon as I realized that it was midnight, I of course, thought of my son, Jeffrey. This will be our 3rd Christmas without him. How much I miss him, and that he should be here with us. I STILL to THIS DAY..... some how think that if I pray hard enough, that I can reverse time, and change the past, that I can bring him back.... flesh and blood, so I can hug & kiss him again; and just talk to him. To hear his wit, and his laugh, just his voice.... ah it hurts so. I don't mean to be oblivious to others' pain and grief out there, and I hope and pray that their pain subsides, but this is mine.
Christmas morning will never be the same again. But, this year we did put up a tree (for our daughter), and my BFF and my godchildren came to help decorate the tree. We waited until the Teacher came home so we could decorate it together. That was so much fun. The children brought life back into our home that had not been there in a while. They were so delightful and loving; not as if the presents had anything to do with it; It helped to take away the pain today that we will feel tomorrow. But, I know I have to be strong, for my daughter. I think that it upsets her even more when I'm upset, so I'll have to TRY VERY HARD.
On that note, I hope y'all have a very Merry Christmas, and enjoy your children while they are young and, no matter how aggravating it seems at times, during the school year or the terrible twos, don't wish for them to grow up too fast, as they will be gone from your home soon enough.