Computer Issues

Yesterday when I finally made my way to the computer (about 5pm), I found a love note from my DH! Well, I thought it was a love note.
The note said: Whatever You did to the PC, You need to Fix it! I cannot get into my links to pay the bills! (Some love note!)
How Dare He just assume that it was I whom had messed up the computer! I mean, just because there are only 2 of us here; He works on the computer too!
I was fuming!
So, I went to his page, and looked for "monthly bills". Well, whaddya know? It took me only 5 minutes or less to locate them! He had been looking in the wrong place! Is Alzheimer's kicking in? I responded to the note while I was fuming that he had accused me automatically. Well, I had just seen the note at 5:00 and he got home at 6:30.
So, when he got home he was in a good mood. I had calmed down somewhat, but was for him to read my note. He didn't give it a chance, he came right over to me to say hello, then since he was in such a good mood, I decided to just tell him that I had found it, and I didn't appreciate him automatically assuming I had messed up the computer.
So, he grunted and just went to change out of his work clothes. I left the directions to the "monthly" bills on the desk. Then we went to eat dinner, and it wasn't mentioned again. Well, I didn't get the apology I wanted, but the grunt showed me that he knew he was in the wrong and he just wanted it to drop. So, drop it I did. I wanted to have a good dinner, and evening. :)

ProHomeMaker Does it Again! Luxury ideas, this time!

I just love all the tips that PRO puts out there! Some are simple ideas, but who ever thinks of it?! Pro does! Like the one he suggested of turning down your bed at night, all ready to just crawl into crisp sheets for a good night's sleep.
He mentions that it is usually a luxury, something that we usually only find in Hotels.

I know I don't ever turn my bed down. But, Yes, I think that would make one smile, to not have to go to bed and begin removing all the decorative pillows, etc, and then finally pulling back the sheets to get into bed; how long does that usually take? Probably long enough to realize you are already sleepy and you don't want to have to deal with that right then, all you want to do is jump into bed!

So, I am going to start doing that - during the time while making dinner, I do have time to do this, so I will turn down my bed as suggested. And, maybe on Valentines day, get some roses and maybe chocolates to put on the turned down bed before DH gets home from work. Squeee... Sounds like a plan!
PS: Don't forget to check out his "quick" chile recipe - sounds yummy!

UPDATE ON FIL & EYE GLASSES

Regarding my FIL, the Dr ended up flushing out his kidneys and lungs via dialysis. It was ordered that FIL have complete rest and quiet. So, visitors are at a bare minimum (2), and no tv.
So, we decided not to go and are being updated by the family every day. If something changes, no matter what day it is, we will go then. Will keep y'all posted.

Yesterday, when I was on the computer for a short while, I kept having to adjust my glasses because they hurt on my nose. I kept adjusting it the whole time while on here, but since I was in a hurry to pack and stuff, I didn't give it a second thought.

So, today, I'm on the computer and the bridge of my nose hurts like H*LL! So, finally, I look at my glasses and one of my plastic thing-ez is gone. NO WONDER!! So, since I have to wait to fix this next week, I folded a piece of Puffs tissue and put in place. Ah, feels better. But wait, besides the whites of the tissue keeps popping in the corner of my eye (for re-adjustment); the tissue keeps falling off!
Agh, what am I going to do? After putting tissue on for about 4 times; What is this I see on my desk? One of those little packets that they put in with my meds that come in the mail. I'm desparate! So, I try it. Viola! AH, feels so much better! It works great and doesn't fall off!! (Kinda like duct tape, but not.)

Oh No - FIL in Hospital ICU - Again

My FIL had a botched colonoscopy in September? Not sure of date. Afterwards they sent him home. He was in ICU for one week, then moved to regular room for 2nd week; then they sent him home.
He seemed to be better for half a week, then can't hold anything in, and is turning yellow! SIL calls the dr's office and tells them. She says give him tylenol and we'll see him for his appointment next week. Stupid Nurse!
My SIL rushes him to the hospital. It turns out that the "surgeon" had cut a hole in his stomach!! So, they rush him into surgery and he stays in ICU for 2 weeks, then 1 week in reg room. Now, he has to wear one of those bags that catches, you know, stuff so you don't need to go to the bathroom. Poor guy, he really didn't like that. He had to wear it for 2 months! FIL is about 80 yrs, and has been walking every day for about 3/4 of a mile, so we think he's gonna recover quickly.
He was sent home, again, He seems to be doing much better, but he can't wait to get that bag off! It's finally time to have the bag removed! YEA!!
So, into surgery, again, he goes. He was in surgery for about 2 hours. So, he was in ICU for a few days then they moved him to reg room.
He was doing better, even sat on the edge of the bed, and sat on the chair. The dr thinks he is doing so well, that she puts him on a full liquid diet. Mistake! He couldn't keep that down, so back into the ICU this week!
We have been driving to Austin, every weekend to see him since this started. We leave on Friday or Saturday, then come back on Sunday, or Monday. Whew!
We decided to stay home this weekend so DH could catch up on work, unless he takes a turn for the worse.
So, I call DH at work and ask about his father. It seems the nurse called MIL to tell her to come right away because FIL is now passing blood in his urine, so they are going to check the kidneys. Not really sure what exactly that entails.
SO, after DH is finished working (about 3), then he will come home to pack and off we go to Austin!
I'm frightened, especially for my DH. We hope that the doctors' can fix this for once and all. Of course, we no longer have the dr that cut the hole in his stomach! (Goes w/o saying, right?) I hope and pray that FIL will make a remarkable recovery and everything will be alright.

Speaking of packing.... I'd better git!

FINALLY..... A FUNNY!

Yesterday when I left for my doctor's appointment, I discovered that I had left my cell phone at home! AGGGHHHHH... I don't know about y'all, but I feel naked without my cell phone along! I am always afraid that something may happen like having a flat or my DH or my Angel calling me. I don't like to miss any of those important calls.

So, I just accepted that it was at home and I'd go get it before I had to get back out to pick up DH from work. So, when I got home, I looked and looked and looked at the last places I was before I left. Then LIGHT BULB APPEARED OVER MY HEAD!

I called my cell from the land line. I was walking around to find the ringing cuz I heard it.... Before I would find it, the ringing would stop, so I had to call myself about 3 times! (groan)

When I was in the hall, I thought I heard it ringing in the bathroom. I was sooo close! I kept following the ringing, getting closer and closer as I bent over to look into the toilet. Surely, I didn't drop it in there! Maybe behind the toilet? As I leaned closer to the trash can beside the toilet, it was ringing louder and louder. YUCK, I did not want to stick my hands in there! SUDDENLY, since I was bent over still looking for it, I put my hands on my hips just feeling perplexed. When I did that, my right hand felt my cell in my front jeans pocket! IT WAS IN MY POCKET ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH, how silly I felt!!! I had a JOLLY OLE LAUGH AT MYSELF!!
[New rule, always check my jeans pocket first!]

HELPING OTHERS IN TIME OF TRADEGY

ProHomeMaker has just written a wonderful piece on things to do and not to do in helping the bereaved. These were great tips! Being through this myself, I thought I'd add a few more.

Clean home: This is the LAST thing you would want to think of, yet it becomes one of the first, because you know people will be stopping by and this was the week you did not clean house. Why should this matter to you? Why do you think of this when something as serious as this has happened? That, I do not know the answer to. You should not care, but that is how I thought that day. So, through your continuous tears, you automatically start cleaning house, though all you want to do is collapse and cry your eyes out, scream and ask God, "Why?"

THEN, your best friends come over and ask what do you need me to do? One has left her sick family to help out and one has cancelled all of her hair appointments at her salon to help me. I was overwhelmed in the support that these two ladies showed. They did ask, "what do you need me to do?" I didn't know what to tell them, other that we were cleaning house. Then, they just stepped in and started cleaning. My DH and I were in my son's room trying to pick up, yet giving in to sobs as we tried to pick up. These ladies were God sent. We had so much more to contend with. It was something we knew had to be done, but needed to forget about, so we could grieve, something that we had just learned about an of hour before.

These friends were my life-line at the time. My DH and I had to call our daughter from the accident scene to the school in which she was a teacher. Our hearts wrenched, as we heard her screams over the telephone and not being there to hold her. I had to take over, cuz my DH could not go on. Her co-worker teachers and principal, helped her get on a flight to our hometown. My BFF went to pick her up at the airport. It's Horrible to think of, but my daughter had to call to remind us that she was at the airport. How badly I felt that I had forgotten to ask someone to pick her up from the airport.

Suggest what you can do: Pro is correct in for you to suggest some things that they might be able to do for you, only waiting for you to agree to some of those things. Just take a look at the grieving person and notice when you strike a cord, then tell them you are on the way to do just that. Be back later..... A grieving one is not thinking clearly, mostly not thinking at all, because that person is in "shock"; and, except what is making her/him grieve! They DO NEED for someone to think for them. All they are concerned with is to collapse (each bereaved is different). Since I had been up 4 days with no sleep just wondering where he was, then after finding him, and screaming for at least an hour before the emergency people got there, I needed doctor's care (another one that Pro hit right on); So, my throat could stop hurting and I could get some sleep.

Another thing that is need: Is that YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT IS CLOSE TO YOU.... EITHER A FRIEND OR RELATIVE, SOMEONE THAT WILL LOOK OUT FOR YOU!!! Sometimes the in-laws try to take over, and you don't know this because you are exhausted, not thinking and are just trying to rest and/or sleeping.

Then, when you awake, you learn that arrangements had been made without your approval. As soon as you can speak to your immediate family alone, do so. For this, you have to ask the inlaws, all the aunts and uncles and all their children, just standing around. Just ask them to leave because you need time for yourselves. So, we left our cell phones in the car and spoke to the funeral director ourselves and corrected what was done without my approval, and do what it is that you want to do for your lost loved one. You see, they were expecting to come in with us and make decisions. This I did not know until I awoke. That's why we left our cell phones in the car. These decisions needed to be made by mom, dad and sister.

Yes, people are Oblivious and will be oblivious, no matter what: If someone happens to read some articles like this, then hopefully, they will watch their tongues. I too, had to bite my tongue (which wasn't too hard), because I knew they meant well, but also knew that they knew no better. Especially the older ones. Never, never say "I know what you are going through" (unless you/they have experienced the exact same loss that you have. Because "you just don't know"; Or that everything happens for a reason (that was the one I hated most hearing; cuz to you, there is absolutely NO REASON for this to have happened.
My point is, when there is extended family involved, these friends/family can help by picking up any relatives that need to be at your home and running any kind of errands that are asked of the family.
For instance our daughter just felt lost because of everything going on, and she want to go out to get some items that she wanted to create something for her brother on her own, so they would be at the Rosary/showing. This is something you can look for. There is confusion and the family walks around like a zombie. Just get a hold of some of the family looking lost and ask/suggest that maybe they had not thought about, but they were willing to take care of.

Bring Food: Friends and co-workers brought over finger foods, many kinds of sandwiches trays, fruit trays, and others brought hot foods like casseroles, and desserts. Another close friend of mine, Bex, the friend who had driven me to find Jeffrey, had brought a Polynesian chicken & rice dish (that was fabulous). Can you believe that she did that?! Bex had walked through the wreckage on the field that was strewn with parts from the vehicle, and personal items thrown from the truck; and climbed down into the creek with me and was sopping wet, and probably in shock, like me. But, she did not leave me in there alone, even though the crowd that had gathered told her to. She told them she could not leave me in there alone. (I learned this a few weeks later.)
Then she goes home and cooks for us? Since I didn't get to eat any of that casserole, she made me some later. I had only eaten some soup and half of a croissant sandwich because DH made me. I can only imagine what was going through Bex's mind, as she only suggested to drive me to find Jeffrey because she knew he was missing. She had not expected to find him at the bottom of a creek. Since all I could not think of anyone else but me and my family, I did not think to ask her how she was doing, until at least a few weeks afterwards, as she was in shock those first few weeks as well.
Other items that were brought, were a large ice chest with ice, drinks and water in it, along with paper plates, plastic-ware, plastic cups and napkins, .
All of these were items that were well received, because these are the last things on your mind, knowing tons of people will converge on your door step. There is something said for wanting to be alone,with the exception of the friends and family that will take the calls and respond for us, and/or take messages.
One thing I would have changed, if I had had the presence of mind to do so; is that I would have asked that all the flowers and plants be diverted to a Scholarship Fund for my son. No one happened to think of that, and I would have been so grateful if they had. Yes, there were tons of plants and flowers from family and friends; but mostly from Jeffrey's friends, Yes, he had TONS of friends. I would have been so grateful for someone to mention that to me. But, I can only imagine the pain and suffering that they themselves were going through.
Music: Most of Jeffery's friends were already here. Some of them, had a very hard time coming into the house, because they couldn't bear to see his room without him in it. All of the girls were sitting outside in the grass, underneath the trees, just crying. We just left them there to come in when they were ready. They eventually came in.
I asked the boys for one of them to please create a CD that Jeffrey would have loved. I could see that the Jeffrey would have not appreciated the "funeral" music normally played. So, all of his friends had input on the songs chosen. I had to ask the Friend who was actually placing the songs on the CD, to PLEASE not put any songs that were violent or have cussing, on it. He assured me he would not.

Although, some of these songs were rather LOUD PUNK! LOL, but Jeffrey had such a VARIETY of music that he liked, even Johnny Cash was on there. It was the last song that Johhny had made before he passed on. The boys tried to capture all of Jeffrey's favorite songs. Well, we knew the Church would not allow this kind of music, so we asked the funeral home and though, they would not allow this music to be played in the main showing room, they did allow us to play our chosen music in another hall within the grounds. During the Rosary, Jeffrey's music played until the Priest started the Rosary.
A funny thing, is that some of the music would be at one level, then another song would play LOUDLY!!!! So, my daughter, who was in charge, asked the attendant to please pay attention to those songs and turn down the music when the music got louder than the other songs! Even though grieving, she took this task upon herself to do. Although, even though I heard the music, I did not know until the Rosary was over and my sweet Daughter (the teacher) told me about that.
One of the unique thing that we did, in agreement with DH & our sweet Daughter (who came up with the idea), was to place stickers on his casket. It was a sight to see. Jeffrey and his friends had collected stickers since their childhood, and just loved the idea. Jeffrey had his childhood door covered with stickers, and he had a shoebox filled with stickers yet to be placed. They all loved the idea! When we announced that at the funeral that, (instead of dirt or roses be placed on the casket) that the stickers would be placed, the Priest was surprised, yet during his last comments to the people, he said "Well, I'm sure the "sisters" (buried just below), will get in some interesting reading." One of the stickers read "Bad Religion ... a band.... (ironic in a sense).....
THIS IS ALL FOR NOW, THE NEXT TIME, I WILL TELL OF THE "FAVORS" for a funeral, (for lack of a better word) THAT I WILL WRITE ABOUT.

Two Updates: Hamburger meat & Special Guests CD

Ziploc Vacuum Freezer Bags: I wanted to tell y'all that since I had "duct taped" my Ziploc bag after busting a big tear in it, the next time I pulled out another section of the hamburger meat, it had no freezer burn! So, it seems that if you do put more than one package of meat in a vacuum sealed freezer bag, and if you take out only one package, then return it to the freezer, and have a huge tear in it, duct tape on it (that doesn't cover the entire tear); and put it back in the freezer, it will not have freezer burn!

Special Guests CD: Well, the CDs I had made were a HUGE HIT! Now, these boys tease each other all the time. I received a phone call from one of the boys that now lives in FLA. He was hysterical! "Ms.Z, you've GOT TO send me that Special Guests CD!" I said, well I gave the boys here some, Roger said he would burn some more for the rest of y'all. "NO, you don't understand.... THEY WON'T! PLEASE, PLEASE, burn me a copy and overnight it to me! PLEASE??!!!" I said well, I'm not sure I can get it out tomorrow.... "Oh please!!! I'll pay for it!!! I told him I promise I will get one to you as soon as possible! Whoops! He's not getting it today, maybe tomorrow. So, the boys are at it again! I wish they were in this house arguing, laughing and punching each other (well, not in the face... they keep it below the neck)! I should have made a 100 copies! LOL

LAW SUIT - AAAGGGHHH................

My attorney called me yesterday. Yes, I have an attorney.It all started June 8, 2007. My DH and our Princess (the Teacher - I may start referring to her like that), had just left for California, on June 7th, to visit DH's Grandpa for his birthday, who was turning 103!! I had decided not to go, I was still grieving pretty bad and just didn't want to get out of the house, much less, do anything fun.

Anyway, on June 8th, my girlfriend called me to come swim at her condo on the bay. So, I got all packed for swimming, and took some beer in an ice chest, but had to stop at the convenience store to pick up some ice. I chatted with the cashier, paid for my ice, then walked toward the ice compartment, inside the store.All of a SUDDEN, I SLIPPED! My right foot went up in the air first, then, of course, I followed, and BAM!! I landed on the right side of my body on my right elbow and forearm and the side of my right hand! As I fell, my body slightly twisted and my left hand slammed on the concrete floor automatically, I suppose so I wouldn't hit my head! Double O-U-C-H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I thought about pushing myself up, but was shaky and saw that I was surrounded by a HUGE puddle of water! There were no signs anywhere advising such. I screamed as I went down, and of course, there was no one in that aisle to witness my fall!!! Then the clerk (girl), her manager (that was at the front when I purchased the ice) came running, along with another employee that I had not seen before.They helped me up, then walked me to a table and sat me down.

The manager asked me if I was ok. I said either, yeah, or I think so. I was in SHOCK, and thought it probably wasn't as bad as I thought. THEN, I remembered all of the slip and fall cases that we had worked on when I worked for attorneys. So, I told them that I wanted an ambulance. I am SO GLAD I DID! The manager immediately called the ambulance, then came at me with forms and a camera. Did he take a picture of the puddle? Noooooo.... actually, he ordered the employee to mop up the water as soon as I was sat at the table. He took pictures of my shoes (flip flops) and my right side of my body. There was nothing to see yet. I was wearing my swimsuit underneath a long swimsuit cover (just down to my ankles).

The ambulance came and we went to the ER. I thought I would get taken right in (and so did the Ambulance guy - cuz he tried to run me thru the back); but we were told that I would have to wait. I called my girlfriend and told her what had happened. She was going to pick me up when I was done. I told her don't bother coming now, cuz I didn't know how long it would take. So, wait I did for 4 hours! During that time, my elbow swelled to the size of a grapefruit, and my back and my right side, and my left leg, hurt like the dickens! When I was finally taken to the back, I had x-rays taken everywhere that it hurt. I was so ready to get out of there and go home and lay down to sleep. (So much for the sun and fun!).

I called my girlfriend when I was going into x-rays and told her to come on down. We then went to the drug store and left my prescription. I asked my friend to take me home, cuz I was falling asleep from the meds they had given me at the hospital. So she did. She also contacted another friend to help pick up my truck from the evil convenience store! She came back with my prescription and truck, as I was falling asleep. She said, well I don't think I'm gonna spend the night (as we had planned). I groggily said that's fine. She said too many bad things have happened today. I think I need to go home, seems there's bad karma out there. I said that's fine, as I was falling asleep.SO..... of course, I had called my DH from the hospital, and so we were in touch.

The next day or maybe 2nd day, I called the convenience store administrative office to file a report. The receptionist kept giving me excuses for 2 days. So, I called my insurance. She gave me a number to call. So, I looked for an attorney, above all, in the yellow pages! I had been out of the legal field for about 5 years, so really didn't know whom to call. Everything changes so much (especially in a small town). Anyway, I found one who wanted my case. Since then, I have been going to a back doctor (as my bulging disc had started acting up), a hand doctor and a chiropractor. Both of my hands are still stiff in the morning when I awake. I have to work them out with a putty like lump of clay for them to relax. They still hurt like H*ll, when I try to make a fist.So, the time has come to give my attorney all of my medical paperwork, and we go forth into a lawsuit and preferably, settlement. I'm pretty nervous that I have to give a recorded statement, then a deposition. YIKES!! I have always been on the other side, so it's very weird being on this side. I will make an appointment with my attorney next week. The saga will continue......

SPECIAL GUESTS

Well, I was just a little excited last night. I remembered that every time "my boys" would come over for a visit, and we were looking through Jeffrey's room, they had mentioned a cassette tape by "Special Guests" (a local band) that they had been searching for. You see, between them, they would always 'steal' it from each other, and that they did not know where it had ended up. They desperately wanted to know if Jeffrey had it. So, I told them that I would look for it. Now, this "stealing" thing was something that this large group of friends would always do - steal, then steal back from whomever was in possession at the time. They had done this ever since they became friends in middle school, even the girls! When I learned this, at first I was aghast! As I heard more and more about this, I realized that this was "fun" for them.

So, when 2 of the boys were here, I searched for the cassette tape which is where Jeffrey kept his cassettes in his credenza drawer. Viola! I FOUND IT! (It helped that I had been through Jeffrey's stuff before and knew where Jeffrey kept his cassettes.) He was very careful and organized with his music items and his photography stuff.

The Boys were ALL EXCITED! The problem was that the case was broken and could not be put into a player. I procrastinated and just forgot about the cassette for a couple of months or so. So, just yesterday (the day after Roger's visit) I remembered about the cassette, so I called around to find out if it could be turned into a CD! YES! They do that these days! So, Monday, I took it to a place called DiscGoRound. He said he could have it ready tomorrow! So, yesterday DH picked it up and now I have 6 CDS! I was soooo excited, that I called Roger, while I had it playing on the computer "loud" and asked Roger, do you hear that music? "yeah" Do you know what it is? YEAH, THAT'S SPECIAL GUESTS!! So I told him what I'd done, and that he could pick them up anytime. He was so excited as well, and said "I'll pick them up tomorrow after work!"
I'm going to make a lot of boys happy. That leaves me with a warm feeling. I imagine Jeffrey is looking down on us saying "YEAH! ALRIGHT! YEA, MOM!", So I've been playing it in his room. :)

Side Note: I purchased a "Shorty's" T-shirt for Jeffrey, which was very popular on the skating scene, and a skateboard brand. It was very cool. It was bright blue and had the Shorty's name in large white letters run across one shoulder all the way across to the other shoulder. I had not seen that shirt ever since I had bought it for him. Come to find out last year, that Janel, had stolen it and still had it! I told her I wanted it back (J/K), but.... that she could keep it since she had it these many years! We had a good laugh.

A Visit From One of Jeffrey's Best Buds

We got a surprise visitor tonight! Roger came over this evening for a visit. He stayed about 2 hours. It was a GREAT visit. We are always so happy to see Jeffrey's friends.

Roger was one of the first friends that Jeffrey made when we moved here. Roger lived across the street. So, I've known him since he was 7 years old., and his mom "Jody" and I became friends.

Roger, DH and I reminisced about the good ole days. Jeffrey was always more of a leader (tho he didn't know it). He would just do whatever it was that he found interesting. The friends would think "oh, this is so cool", and follow suit. Jeffrey was fearless, every since he was 3 yrs old! - more stories about that later.

Jeffrey wanted Roller Blades, the latest fad, so we got roller blades for both Jeffrey and Roger. I was always happy that he wanted to do something that would keep him entertained and exercise at the same time. All of a sudden the roller blades were "Not Cool!" Jeffrey decided that it was for little kids who didn't know how to ride a skateboard, so he went back to skateboarding full time!

Roger and Jeffrey would run back and forth to each others' home all the time. :) We remembered the time when Roger's mom caught the boys looking at PLAYBOYS!! Jody noticed a stream of boys running into the house and up the stairs, so she went to investigate. She found the boys looking through stacks of Playboys in the attic! The boys must have been about 10 yrs old (Roger & I disagreed over the age, so I decided on 10 yrs).

Jody immediately chased the boys outdoors, then comes over to tell me. Oh, we were so shocked that the boys had seen them at this young age! But, then again, we Laughed so hard!!! Our little boys were growing up! Way too fast.

When You Finally Come to a Horrible Realization

This is something you will never know unless you lose a child. The first year, I was in a Fog; in Disbelief that anything bad, had happened to my son. That this was all a horrible mistake/nightmare. That any day now, the authorities would tell me that they had found him and he was just fine and they would be bringing him home any minute. Even though I KNEW that the Police were of NO HELP; That it was my girlfriend and I who were the ones to find him; that I was the one to try to pull him from the wreckage, 30 feet down into the creek. Oh, I Prayed, prayed, and prayed.... even though, ever since I had found him, that he would not respond, that I was so dismayed and hurt, and in disbelief, that my God, whom I had been so faithful to, would take my young son from me. I still have issues with God. I'm not happy about it. But, I can't believe that he would allow this to happen to such a wonderful, honest, beautiful boy, that actually brought light and good into this world. I kept seeing Jeffrey walk through the door after work. Just happy go lucky as he was, always.
The second year, I came to the realization that this was, beyond horrible belief, that this was true! Although I had wished for the authorities to tell me a different story..... I should not have! You see, When I called for help from the police after 24 hours after he was missing, and actually filed a missing persons report, they mimicked me. The officer said: "Oh, since he is only 22 yrs old, he is probably just parting with some girls some place." I insisted "NO, None of his friends have heard from him and that is very unusal! At least a couple of friends would have heard from him! He is VERY responsible and would not miss work!"
He ignored me. So I asked, "So, does this mean the police are not going to look for him?!!" He said: "No". I was so furious that I just left the room. Besides being furious at a police officer that was supposed to help us, I had in the back of my mind, that if I lost it and attacked the officer, that I couldn't look for Jeffrey myself. The Police were GOOD FOR NOTHING. Don't EVER rely on the
POLICE!!
The second year, I sort of came to the conclusion that this was For REAL, not really wanting to believe it. Still, there was a part of me that hoped, wished and prayed, that I was in a horrible nightmare, and that Jeffrey was healthy and alive, and would be coming home just anytime now. I knew him being gone was a fact, but yet, I held on to that hope. I wanted Jeffrey back so very badly. I just knew I could make it happen! Just to look at his photographs, it seems that he will be walking in the door any moment.
Here it is, the 3rd year. I am planning to have a ceremony to acknowledge his passing; and of course, planning a party to celebrate his birthday and to invite all of his friends. The 3rd year seems to "FINALLY, be acknowledged as true". It is a very, very sad acknowledgement, but nevertheless, a truth that was never wanted to be believed. So, so sad. How do you acknowledge something as catastrophic as this that you have not wanted to acknowledge as true?
Jeffrey did take his vacation trips in the fall/winter with his friends to go snowboarding in Colorado, New Mexico, or California; or just somewhere.... During those times we were used to him being gone for a few weeks, at least. Sometimes, that is exactly what we felt was happening. Jeffrey and his friends were just away on a "fun" trip.
It's been so difficult to come to the realization of reality, being this, the 3rd year, and true.

Trying to be ProHomeMaker

I was separating some hamburger meat to be placed into the freezer from our last grocery store trip. As I was separating the meat, I realized I only had 1 of those fabulous large Ziploc Vacuum bags! So trying to be creative, I separated a large pack of hamburger meat in to four sections.

Then, I wrapped the four sections of hamburger meat, with Saran Wrap, individually. I then forced the 4 sections into the 1 Ziploc bag. I squished it to the back so that I was able to place the vacuum handle flat on the bag. Well, it was a tight squeeze to place the vacuum handle flat to be able to suck out the air. But, I did it! Pleased with myself, I put the bag in the freezer.

Three days later, I pulled out that bag of hamburger meat so I could pull out one section of the meat. Well, the whole package was FROZEN SOLID!!! After opening the bag and squeezing my fingers in there to open it up, I tried to pull out the one of the sections. It was impossible. So, I began to bang it on the edge of the island and, viola! It broke away from the rest of the pack and I had my individual section to cook.

I thought to myself, well, since I have it out already, I might as well break up the other pieces so they will be easier to pull out next time. So, I continued to bang away on the island. OOPS!!! The bag ripped! And it wasn't a small rip!

Again (after overcoming shock and surprise, and I had stopped laughing), I thought of a way to fix it! I'd heard that Duct Tape will fix ANYTHING! So, I cut off a piece and it stuck to the bag. Then I cut off another piece to cover the rip completely. By this time the bag was becoming moist, so it wouldn't stick! Ah, I gave up and tried to vacuum it with no luck! I went ahead and put it back in the freezer.

Lessons learned: 1) Don't over pack a large Zip Loc Bag; and 2) Duct Tape does NOT fix everything!

Jeffrey's 3rd Year Anniversary - 02/18/06

Well, here it is again, a date I do not look forward to at all, but yet, will be here each and every year. The day my son Jeffrey left us on this earth.
Jeffrey left us on February 18, 2006, but my girlfriend and I did not find him until February 21, 2006. We buried him on his birthday February 24, 2006.
So the time has come to decide how we want to acknowledge the day he left this earth. Each year has been different, and mostly a family event, his family of 3, and our close friends
I think that this year I will want to have a candlelight vigil, at his place on that day, and invite all of his friends, and ours to attend. The days get dark so early at this time, so I'm hoping that 6:00 will give us one hour before it gets dark.
Also, on his birthday, we celebrate his life. His beautiful life that gave so much joy to us, and to everyone that he knew. We usually have a birthday party to celebrate his life, either at a home of one of his friends, or at a restaurant. There is not one person that I meet that knew him, that tell me how he touched their hearts; and how very grateful they are for just being able to have spent time with him, to just to have known him. His kind heart was the first to shine through, and his smile and his laugh were just so contagious.
As I walked by his room tonight, I heard a song in his room (you see, I turn on his stereo each morning - I can't stand for it to be quiet); and knew that he probably loved that song. It was one that I would probably have asked him to "turn that down!". LOL. That's funny cuz I turn up his music LOUD every day, so I can hear it through the house while I'm up and around.
So, I sat on his bed tonight (which I hadn't done for a while); and just listened to the song, and once again, viewed all of his skateboard posters on the wall, along with the other very creative posters on his wall, and his beautiful photograph that his girlfriend gave to us taken just before the 18th; and smelled his crochet caps (which he wore when he wanted his dreaded hair up off his neck) and a shirt on his bed. The tears just flowed. But there will never be a time that I don't visit his room. Sometimes I am able to just be in his room and smile at the fond memories. Regardless, I never know which emotion will take hold of me, but it doesn't matter. I love to go into his room and be among his things.
There is a lot that I need to do in his room. You know, dust, just clean up in there. There are a lot of "collectibles", comic books and such, that I need to catalogue. In time........
I don't believe that there will ever be a time that the tears won't flow for the loss of our son. I just miss him so very much, every single day. There is not an hour that goes by that he is not in our thoughts. There is always something that will remind us of him, no matter where we are. A song on the radio, a place we drive by where he used to hang out with his friends, a favorite restaurant, especially in our home.
You know, there were times when I would invite Jeffrey to come with me to have an early dinner and to invite any of his friends that he wanted. We would have dinner, play some trivia game, and just talk and laugh amongst ourselves. Those were some fun times, and I am so glad to have those memories of him with me and his friends.
He left us before his time. I miss the grandchildren he was supposed to give us. We were supposed to go first.

Farmer Jr.'s 7th Birthday!

We had a blast at Farmer Jr.'s birthday party! When I first arrived, Lil Gal ran up to hug me as she was calling my name. Then she looked at the present I brought and noticed there was only one. OOPS!!! Lil Gal knows that I always bring 2 presents no matter whose birthday it is; cuz it's only fair, I've always said. I always did the same thing with our children. It just hurt me that they had to watch their sibling open all the presents and they didn't even get one, so I started that tradition.
Dang if I forgot! Oh, the frown and hurt look she had on her pretty little face!
:( I promised her that I had just forgotten it and that I would bring it to her the very next time I came out there. She seemed ok with that, then asked me to help her bowl.
It was so cute seeing these little folks pick up those heavy 5 lb balls! Of course, we mostly carried the bowling balls for most of them, to place on a tall "bowler slide". I had never seen such a thing. It was great! It is about 4 ft tall, and you put your ball on top of it (while the adult angles the thing where we think they will get a strike), then we let go of the ball! Very cool. I might ask to use one next time I bowl! :) Oh yeah, they had bumpers too!
That was fun! Lil Gal won the game! WOO HOO! She and another gal both got the only strikes (although, we did not report that to the crowd for fear of tears!).
Just mom and I took notice!
DH and I had planned to have a picnic at the beach, but I soon forgot about that, as DH had, when he started pulling out lawn chairs that need repair and varnish. POOH!! It was about 82 today; a perfect day for the beach! Well, I'll check the weather tomorrow. It just might be hot tomorrow too!
FW out did herself as usual! Check out the picture of the cake she made for Farmer Jr., that lady is just too talented!
Have a great evening everyone!

New Years Eve

We had a very nice New Years Eve! We went to my BFF's home (farmer's wife); and we had some Yummy appetizers, which were enough for a meal! And, we played with Lil Gal and Farmer Jr.

The men were in the kitchen talking "men" stuff, and FW, Lil Bro and I sat around the table and told stories, and then the men joined us. Some interesting stories! We had some laughs and Champagne (men had beer - go figure?), and even shot some fireworks!

It was a chilly night, so we tried to stay close to the garage where the wind was blocked, as the children (as we kept calling to the children to move away.... get back, get back...) and the Boys braved the cold at the end of the driveway to entertain us! Sweet boys! Whew! It was windy and a chilly 54 degrees (around there).

After we were out of fireworks, we went to the front porch and watched everyone else's fireworks, and there were a LOT! We even saw someone catch something on fire! It must have been a shed or something, cuz it was a large fire, and we were a few miles away! Luckily for them, it was put out after a while.

Then midnight came and we finished off the Champagne, said good night, and traveled the country roads home watching more fireworks. Nice. (Oh, we did keep a look out for a sheriff's car!). But, DH usually is the designated driver, so we really didn't have a problem.

When we arrived home, I watched some "soaps" I had missed the previous 2 days cuz we were out of town (I'm so tired of going out of town!); and DH promptly fell asleep in the chair, then went to bed. I made it to bed about 2 a.m.

So, it was a fun relaxing night. Not like the nights we used to have in our 20s! HaHa, now those were some crazy but fun times!

I hope everyone had a fun relaxing time (except for the ones in their 20s!) LOL!!

Road Trip to Brother's College Graduation

Well, it's been awhile since I've written. I'm not quite as inspired to write often, but I should try. I left off promising to tell about my trip to visit my brother's home for his graduation from Stephen F. Austin University. My DH dropped me off at my brother No.1's home in another town 3 hours away, since my mom and I were riding with him and his wife. I was anxious to begin the trip which I just knew would be comfortable since Bro has a Chevy Tahoe. Was I in for a surprise! The Tahoe needed new tires and we would be traveling instead, in his wife's Volkswagon Pssat! Immediately I began to worry that my luggage would be an issue! You see, I have trouble packing anything less than the kitchen sink! Luckily, SIL#1 assured me that her car had a LARGE trunk! Thankfully, she was right, and everything fit! WHEW!

So, we began our trip the next day for another 3-4 hour trip, now sitting all cozy in her compact vehicle. Well, as you all probably know, the Driver gets to choose the music listened to on the drive; and, not everyone has the same taste, as we all know. I, of course, always travel with reading material, mostly books. SIL decided that she wanted to listen to soft jazz Christmas music, being 2 weeks away from Christmas. Needless to say, everyone else preferred anything else, as the music was nice, but it was s - l - o - w........, and putting us all to sleep. I don't know HOW Sara stayed awake! I tried to read, but then mom and/or Rob would start a conversation (presumably to stay awake), and I would have to put my book down. :( I just wanted to escape into a good read. So, FINALLY, we arrive at Pat's home. After settling in, we all have a great visit with Bro#2 & SIL#2 and their 2 boys (9 & 7 yrs). Well, guess what??!! My other SIL#2 puts on background music. Just guess what we listened to?? YUP, Christmas music, of the christian station persuasion (not that there's anything wrong with it), with the exception that we had just been made to listen to Christmas music for 4 hrs, previously!!! SIL#2 teaches at a private christian school, and her boys attend the same school. (BTW - I Love SIL's #1 & #2 - the Best!)

OH YEAH! I FORGOT THE REAL KICKER IN THIS VISIT! NO ALCOHOL IS ALLOWED IN THEIR HOME!!!!!!! I had heard from Bro#1 that they didn't drink (which I knew) but I didn't expect them to not allow it in their home, at all! I just assumed that they wouldn't mind if we drank; and that maybe for a special occasion they would join us in some wine to celebrate; and mom loves her beer! I had brought 2 bottles of wine all packed in my luggage. But, apparently, they have taught the boys the EVILS of Alcohol! So, the boys would probably have a heart attack if they saw it in their home! So, mom and I had to spend the week without ANY ALCOHOL AT ALL!!! Well, if there ever was any question whether or not, mom or I were alcoholics, that occasion gave us our answer! WE are NOT! WOO HOO!!! No, shaking, or trembling whatsoever! LOL!!

So, anyway, the visit went well, and the graduation was long, as they all are, but we were so very proud of my Bro#2. It seems that the family had just gotten over the cold/flu the previous 3 weeks, in which they all took turns with the illness. Well, the germ decided it liked its visitors (us), and it came home with all of us!! I don't know why, but I seem to have gotten the worst of it. FINALLY, this week, I'm much better with the exception of a nasty cough that won't go away. So, all in all, it was good visit with the family.

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS AND A NEW YEARS EVE/DAY!