PIPER THE TERROR

OMG This Dog Won't STOP BITING ME!!! She grabs on to my clothes (whatever is hanging - like a skirt, shorts, nightgown, etc.). I had to cover the furniture with sheets so she won't tear it up, and now, she is pulling the sheets trying to tear them apart. So far, there are holes.
~~~~~~~~~Today was the WORST DAY EVER!!!
I took her out several times so she wouldn't go potty in the house. The last few days she has had accident, after accident! Today I mopped the kitchen floor with Clorox, and I wasn't about to let her go there again!
~~~ I can't sit for a few minutes before she literally runs and jumps me and I have to put out my arms and grab her so she won't bite my face! I grab her arms and besides telling her to STOP - DON'T BITE - She won't! As she tries with all her might, she swings her head back and forth in a frenzy! I try to put her paws in her mouth so she will feel how it feels and stop!
~~~~ HA! A lot of good that does! I grab a chew toy and wave it in her face. She takes it for about 1 minute, then BAM! There she is again biting anything she can get her mouth on... my ankles (by the way, she can put her whole mouth around my ankle), my toes, my legs, and when, of course, I try to stop her, she attacks my upper body again!
CONTEMPLATING THE ATTACK:
~~~~ She won't let me eat, she jumps at the table to get at my food! So, I put her in the kennel. I leave her there for about an hour. She takes a nap. I'm exhausted and my body stings from her scratches from her claws and scrapes from her teeth. Ah, one hour free of fighting this sweet looking dog. Looks, as they say, can be deceiving.
~~~~~ Reluctantly, I let her out of the kennel knowing she needs to go potty. It is raining outside. We have been in a drought for about a year, and it's raining today. Sweet little Piper will melt if she gets wet, so she won't go into the grass. I sit in the chair trying to get her to go on the grass. OOPS! Remember - can't sit down or will get attacked!
~~~~ I'm SO FRUSTRATED, that I leave her on the patio and run in before she can run into the house!
~~~~ This happens ALL FREAKING DAY!! I know she hasn't gone potty now for about 2 hours. Not good. I finally have had ENOUGH! I put her in the kennel again and decide to leave her until DH gets home. Can't do it. Maybe... just maybe... she will have figured out that her actions have consequences. NOT!! I take her outside... it has stopped raining finally. She won't go potty unless I LEAD HER INTO THE GRASS! Ok, so I do. We come inside, I sit to watch a program, ATTACK!!!! So, I take her outside again and leave her outside... one more hour before DH gets home then she's HIS problem!
~~~~ I check on her outside cuz I don't see her thru the windows. I get worried that with all this rain, she may have dug thru under the fence! DH & Alexis would NOT be happy with me. Here she comes running up, like nothing happened.
~~~~ Inside again... sameo, sameo... You get the picture. Then I get a text from DH. "I stopped to have a beer with the guys." AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
~~~~~~Guess where she is??? Outside.