Jeffrey's 3rd Year Anniversary - 02/18/06

Well, here it is again, a date I do not look forward to at all, but yet, will be here each and every year. The day my son Jeffrey left us on this earth.
Jeffrey left us on February 18, 2006, but my girlfriend and I did not find him until February 21, 2006. We buried him on his birthday February 24, 2006.
So the time has come to decide how we want to acknowledge the day he left this earth. Each year has been different, and mostly a family event, his family of 3, and our close friends
I think that this year I will want to have a candlelight vigil, at his place on that day, and invite all of his friends, and ours to attend. The days get dark so early at this time, so I'm hoping that 6:00 will give us one hour before it gets dark.
Also, on his birthday, we celebrate his life. His beautiful life that gave so much joy to us, and to everyone that he knew. We usually have a birthday party to celebrate his life, either at a home of one of his friends, or at a restaurant. There is not one person that I meet that knew him, that tell me how he touched their hearts; and how very grateful they are for just being able to have spent time with him, to just to have known him. His kind heart was the first to shine through, and his smile and his laugh were just so contagious.
As I walked by his room tonight, I heard a song in his room (you see, I turn on his stereo each morning - I can't stand for it to be quiet); and knew that he probably loved that song. It was one that I would probably have asked him to "turn that down!". LOL. That's funny cuz I turn up his music LOUD every day, so I can hear it through the house while I'm up and around.
So, I sat on his bed tonight (which I hadn't done for a while); and just listened to the song, and once again, viewed all of his skateboard posters on the wall, along with the other very creative posters on his wall, and his beautiful photograph that his girlfriend gave to us taken just before the 18th; and smelled his crochet caps (which he wore when he wanted his dreaded hair up off his neck) and a shirt on his bed. The tears just flowed. But there will never be a time that I don't visit his room. Sometimes I am able to just be in his room and smile at the fond memories. Regardless, I never know which emotion will take hold of me, but it doesn't matter. I love to go into his room and be among his things.
There is a lot that I need to do in his room. You know, dust, just clean up in there. There are a lot of "collectibles", comic books and such, that I need to catalogue. In time........
I don't believe that there will ever be a time that the tears won't flow for the loss of our son. I just miss him so very much, every single day. There is not an hour that goes by that he is not in our thoughts. There is always something that will remind us of him, no matter where we are. A song on the radio, a place we drive by where he used to hang out with his friends, a favorite restaurant, especially in our home.
You know, there were times when I would invite Jeffrey to come with me to have an early dinner and to invite any of his friends that he wanted. We would have dinner, play some trivia game, and just talk and laugh amongst ourselves. Those were some fun times, and I am so glad to have those memories of him with me and his friends.
He left us before his time. I miss the grandchildren he was supposed to give us. We were supposed to go first.