Back from Funeral

If I never go to another funeral again, it will be too soon. My DH & daughter, went to the Rosary on Wednesday night. I declined to pass by the casket and stayed in the pew, far enough back in the middle so I could not see him. I thought I could handle attending the Rosary. Well, I was wrong. I was sobbing, and trying not to, and I forgot the tissues! Man that was bad. I was praying the rosary out loud along with the rest of the peeps, when all of a sudden, my throat closed up - Panic Attack time. Crap!
I rushed out of the church, went outside to get some air and collect myself, then went to the ladies room to get paper towels; or TP (No paper towels). Well, this TP was of the CHEAPEST kind. I pulled and pulled and got scraps. I did this for a while, meanwhile, the tissue in my other hand was squished and as I tried to pull it apart to make it large enough, nada...... just disintegrated paper strips. Oh well, I tried my best to wipe all the wet stuff sliding down my face from every open orifice (well, maybe not my mouth). So, I finally went back in and offered my squished TP (that would shred when pulled), to my DH. He declined. I decided to not pray out loud for fear of another attack.
When the Rosary was over, we got up to join DH's family. TG they had TISSUES!!! And, even gave me a whole packet! My SIL even brushed some shredded TP from my blouse. DH told her about the TP. A little laughter on the scene. Afterwards, DH and daughter left and had dinner. It was nice to catch up with her. It was a nice dinner. Exhausted, we went home and went to bed so we could do it all over again the next day.
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The next day (Thursday) was the funeral mass. Matt would later be placed in a Mausoleum, with immediate family attending only. The mass was just as traumatic, except I remembered to bring tissues. Yea, for that. The church was packed! Matt had made an impact on so very many people.
Afterwards, all were invited to join the family for dinner at one of Matt's restaurants.
We ate, then walked around visiting with family members we never see.
I went to find Aunt Janie (Matt's mom). I sat with her and we had a long tearful talk, while others were watching a slide show of Matt's life in the background. Aunt Janie lost her husband about 4 years ago. Now she lives alone, but is financially secure to have staff and a nurse come twice a week to check on her. She is about 80yrs.
She begged me to come and visit her. I promised I would. So, I will, on my next trip to Austin, which is in April, for 2 weeks.
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We stayed to visit with our daughter, and some long time friends (Godparents to daughter) joined us for dinner that same night, for our 32nd wedding anniversary. We came home on Saturday. WHEW! Glad to be home.